i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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