You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
