What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
