drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
