I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
