the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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