Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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