What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
