she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
