That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
