I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
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