I can text with my tongue
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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