He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
