she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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