Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
