I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
