He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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