It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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