I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
