i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Randomize
