Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize