when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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