tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
