you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
