i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The feeling are messing with the penis
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
