around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
