highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
