your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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