I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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