The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
