I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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