I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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