allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
