I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
