i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
