Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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