fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
