I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
