Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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