Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
