It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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