You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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