I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
