its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
