i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
