So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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