We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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