I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
