omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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