Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
